Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
