I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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