I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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