I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
