I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize