I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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