How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think a kid would responsible me up
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
