I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
