i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize