I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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