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The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just cropdusted the office
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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