she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
