i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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