Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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