Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
