No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize