So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i've created a new STD.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
