I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
