I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
