I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
