you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
