Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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