It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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