Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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