I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm passing your future prison.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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