That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
