I skipped work to stalk him.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize