Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
