Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize