my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
vagina is talking i cant
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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