Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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