Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
