Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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