so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize