I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hippo gnu deer
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
