It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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