I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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