just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
pray to the hookup gods
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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