chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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