I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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