Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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