I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
