He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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