Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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