Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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