That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
