The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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