is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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