No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
