he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
