Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
two words: eviction party
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
