he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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