there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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