yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
