I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The Olympian is in my bed
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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