would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
