what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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